Being Dominant Over Women Is Not a Prophetic Quality

al-Bukhari: Chapter of Marriage

Ibn ‘Abbaas narrated: I waited for a year because I wanted ask ‘Umar bin al-Khattaab about an ayah (i.e. who were the two wives of Allah’s Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم who cooperated with each other in their demand for extra money as is mentioned in surah at-Tahreem), but I could not out of awe of him, until it was the Hajj season whereby I accompanied him on Hajj…

[….] ‘Umar said: We, the people of Quraish, used to be authoritative with women, but when we came (to Madeenah) to live with the Ansaar, we noticed that the Ansaari women were assertive with their men, so our women adopted the characteristics of the Ansaari women. Once I shouted at my wife and she retorted, and I objected to her answering back at me. So she said, ‘Why do you object when I respond back to you? By Allaah, the wives of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) would answer back to him, and some of them may not even speak with him for the whole day until night.’

al-Imam ibn Bataal al-Maaliki said in his explanation of Saheeh al-Bukhari, ‘We used to be authoritative over women…’ this is indicative that it is a reprehensible trait to be domineering over women, for the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) adopted the mannerisms of the Ansaar with their women and he abandoned the way his Quraish people used to treat their women.” (6/596)

Source: Hisham Assing

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